Being a mother

It all started with two thin lines on the pregnancy test kit. I was happily looking forward to being a mother, though I had no clue on what I was signing up for. I enjoyed all the pampering and priviledges all through the 9 months of my pregnancy.  Then came the pain..

It was on a Sunday night that I felt mild contractions. My husband and I rushed to the hospital only to await 24 hours for the cervix to dilate. On Tuesday morning around 4 am, my doctor's pleasant smile slowly disappeared as she tested me again and again - "Your pelvic bones are not obliging , cervix has not dilated much and the baby has changed it's position. Looks like we will have to go for an emergency c-section" , she said.

Fifteen minutes later, I was in the operation theater surrounded by doctors and nurses. I was shivering. The contractions were at an all time high and the epidural had almost worn off by then , leaving me in unbearable pain. Thanks to the anesthetist , he quickly gave me a top up and the pain was bearable again. As my doctor was very slowly cutting open my abdomen, I felt a little pain and told the anesthetist about it. Then I thought I died.  In a few minutes, all I could see were white pillars and something like a maze.

Someone gently tapped my cheek and said "Wake up. You just had a boy baby!" . I was then taken to the normal ward where I could hear my husband, parents and in-laws talking. The nurses then brought a tiny baby wrapped in a big blanket. There he was - Rishi Vivek, son of Divya.

Was it love at first sight? Not at all . The love came much later, after a month of recovery. It was a sunny morning and I was breast feeding him when he stopped suckling, rolled his tiny eyes and looked up at me. I wished that time would freeze there. A few days later , came the smile - a beautiful, innocent and priceless smile all over his face.

I now know that I have signed up for the biggest project of my life. Parenting is a big responsibility. Yet, it brings along so many lovely memories, precious moments and unconditional love - all of which have given my life a new direction. It looks like I will have to be more courageous, happy and wise, because,  my son is going to roll his tiny eyes and look up at me in a lot many situations going forward. I am enjoying every bit of it.